“If you let me do you, I will let you do me”.
He stared at me wide eyed and agape mouth. Well, that was an expected reaction, but I was eagerly waiting for the aftermath response.
“What say”, I coaxed him. This better work. His demeanor changed slightly.
Men, I tell you. My guy is very laid back kind. He wasn't careless about his dressing, but sure he couldn’t care any less. I do love him for the way he is, and I do like his stubble as well, but not always. Any other day, I would have let him keep it, but today wasn’t that day. We have been in to a relationship for long, and now we came to a turn where we both were ready to take a step ahead. He was going to meet my parents. Everything about him was impressive, but you know how parents are. they could judge a man by his stubble and stamp him unworthy. I so wanted him to look perfect, just for today.
I decided to get ready at his place. Knowing him, I was so sure he wouldn’t shave. I had to find a way to get him shave, any way. I picked up a casual for him to wear, crossed my fingers and asked him to shave those stubbles of his.
“Why what’s wrong with them?” damn that innocent baby look at his face.
“Baby, nothing’s wrong with them. But you know how parent’s are. I want you to look perfect for them.”
“But...”, he started.
I rolled my eyes my mind screaming ‘not now, not now’.
I walked to him, threw my arms around his neck, breathed in his ears, “know what hon, I love rubbing my cheeks on yours. But this stubble of yours hurts me. I want to run my tongue all over your neck, but these little hard hairs prick me all the time.” I brought my lips closer to his,”I even have to think twice if I have to kiss you”.
“Well, we are not going to do all that this evening, are we?”, he said in a husky voice.
I sighed.
“Baby, to parents, stubble means lazy and careless. If a man can’t afford 15 mins of shaving, how is he going to spend his whole life dedicated to a woman. They say a man who doesn’t care enough to shave, can’t be careful enough about anything.”
“But that’s silly. How can a stubble define a man. I can keep stubble for any reason. Have I been careless in taking care of you.”
“I didn't say that love. And no you have never been. But you can’t ignore that stubble pricks. And they make you look like a depressed lost man. We have known each other for a long time baby, and I love you, stubble or no stubble. But these little prickly hairs do interfare not only with romance but also with your first impression.”
The look on his face told me he was not buying the logic.
“Look what have I got you.” I fished my purse and took out a male razor.
“You think gifting me a razor will make me shave?”
I said nothing, walked into the bathroom, came out wrapped in a bathrobe. I fished out yet another razor from my purse, the feminine one, threw it at him. He caught and stared in confusion, to me and to the razor alternatingly.
“I have a proposition. If you let me do you, I will let you do me.”
And the rest was a clean shaven history.
The pointless ocean moans on top of each conventional mathematics.
1 Obiters:
lol..
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