Marriage-Arrange v/s Love

Sakha saptapada bhava.

Samraagni bhava samraagni!

Surya chandramam eva vayam.

Deergh ayushman bhava.

Sumangali iyam vadhoor imakam 

Sarve sametha pashyatha.

Sakhyam te gamishyam.

As these mantras echoed around the pandal full of relatives and friends, Anidhya and Saumarya, promised to be each other's 'better-half' till death do them apart.

At one part of India...Jeet and Aruna...sneaked out to a temple to get married with an Arya samaj padwiti..without friends and family..because their parents thought they were inappropriate for each other.

These two couples started their married life same day..at same time..in different ways.

Anidhya and Saumarya were as good as strangers...completely ignorant of each other's tastes and choices. Jeet and Aruna knew each other inside out....strength...weaknesses...likes...dislikes...everything.

which ones of these are going to live "happily ever after" tale???

This is an endless discussion...only reasons and arguments...and no results.

Arrange marriage is like a blooming rose...one petal at a time...you take time..to know your partner...and fall in love gradually..romance blooms like tender petals of roses..you learn to depend and take care...began to respect..the partner..its like finding a person in the crowd and realizing the companion in him/her. But sometimes roses wither before they could bloom. At times, what you get doesn't meet your expectations...either you move out or compromise..and stay bound unhappily till the end.

while,

in love marriage, couples are like each other's homes...of which they know every nook and corner....every ascend and descend...where you can walk comfortably even in the dark. they know each other so well...that they can just figure each other out easily...words lose their importance...conversation becomes stealth. Sometimes, you feel sure you know the other one to the core...but marriage brings out the shades unknown.

Privacy is one integral element in marriage..or is it?? When you have a mother in law needing you around in kitchen, a father in law in dire need of anytime tea, a sister in law asking for your advice on what to wear to college, a brother in law in such a hurry that he is ready to run without his breakfast..where do you find some alone time with your partner. Yes, this is the arranged marriage. But haven't you seen the couples sneaking and stealing some privacy? and haven't you found it romantic?

Thanks god love marriages offers you copious privacy..do what you want, live as you like. But doesn't the easily available privacy gets unimportant? Romance tends to fade slowly because it is easy.

But where is the security and the facility..when you have a child..or when you are too tired to cook and clean..or you are down with some illness..who looks after you?

Every coin has a head and a tail. The type of marriage is not important to keep it alive...what works is how keen you are to make it work. Marriage- love or arranged is more a question of where you create a compatibility..of where you are willing to make it work..of where you find a moment and work to make it perfect..than of love or arranged.

http://www.facebook.com/LoveYaArrange

SHE

The house is full of cries

She is born

Beautiful, soft, like a dream

Her little fingers curled

Her pink face peaceful

As she feels secured

Bundled up in her mother’s arms

Unaware of the attempts

That was made to kill her

Even before she felt alive

And now she is born.

She is like water

Colourless, adaptable

She is living

As others want her to

She has dreams she treasures

But she keeps them hidden

Secured under the chains of her strength

She is growing

And so are her restrictions

And her responsibilities

At the age of 14

She is half a woman already

She knows her house, her people

As good as her own self

But her, she is surrounded

In the pitch black darkness

Of anonymous identity

And she keeps growing

she lives so many identities

but her own

A woman is born

She is blessed

With a white face

And darkness

The rules...

"you know..its high time we make long distance relationship rules"
"like what"
"like no fights on Saturdays"
"its just ten minutes before your Saturday ends"
"don't try to be smart"
"hahahaha..okay..that was effortless though"
"smart head"
"okay..what next"
" you will always say I love you too..when I say I love you"
"do you really need to make this rule"
"even when you are dead mad at me"
"mmm..I will try"
"no tries...rules are rules"
"but rules are made to be broken"
"not this one"
"okay"
"you too can suggest some rules"
"I don't want to love you on rules"
"but love rules are romantic"
"no..you are"
"and so is my girl"
"so, are we done with the rules list"
"no"
"go ahead then"
"can't think of anything but you"
"is that a rule"
"no...a habit"
"you are sweet"
"and you are my sweetheart"
"I love you"
"I love you back"

An Enveloped Heart- The making of an artist

........

         Am not sure who to address it to..so to whom so ever it may concern...may read this. I have no idea what inspired me to write this, but I feel compelled. May be somewhere, around the corner of my heart, I want to let everyone know that pain might be ugly but it bears beautiful causatum. It bestows you with immense power...to create..to change..to make others see the world from your eyes. Though Gothic subjugates, but it is chivalric in its own eccentric way. I know this because I have felt, still do feel, its cogent pull..its hypnotic, narcotic. Irony isn't it??..pain creates something so powerful that it kills itself..contextually though.

                                                                       Like every girl I once had a life that I was content in..was all happy and proud about. A family that loved me, friends like sisters, most amazing friends around, and a guy I was head over head in love with and he to me..at least I thought so. Tragedy in common life comprises either of family or of love..mine was the later. we both lived in Delhi..he in Gurgaon..a media rep in a fancy firm..and me..an HR in another firm in Noida..these two places in Delhi seems like worlds apart when it comes to commuting. But we managed, in-spite of long distances and busy schedule, we always managed to squeeze time for each other. It was all magical. But magic had come to an end someday. It ended in a dramatic way. It was when I came back from a trip, and I decided to pay in a surprise to him. You must have guessed the rest of the story by now..yes, he was with some other damsel..some babe material, something that I never was. Too dumbstruck to react I just walked out. My phone rang and rang like a maniac..but I din't pay a heed..I din't want to. I din't want to go home as yet, so I got down at Cannaught Place to wander aimlessly. No, this wasn't what turned me into a famous writer. It was what fate had for me. I had a trip coming, to Mumbai, and I decided to immerse myself in work. I had put in a lot of effort and time, so the project went magnificently well. I felt tired, drained, and lonely. On an impulse I decided to take a stroll at Marine Drive..a decision that changed my life entirely. That evening there was a blast..at Marine Drive. And next thing I remembered was waking up at some hospital..with distorted face..ravaged body..and a more devastated self..I  had no idea what to do..I lived low..bewildered and puzzled about what to do..I have been told surgery might not pull off my injuries..making me look unscathed...they were deep..intense and as bad as it could be. They wondered how I even survived..I loathed why I even survived..I decided to go home..to my sanctuary..to hide..to heal. I did go there..only to be left more baffled..I was washed off my existence at home..had to be..I did not tell them I was alive..my mistake..My dad looked aged and extremely tired..I was his second loss after my mom. I wanted to run in to him..hug him and tell him I am alive..But something stopped me. I know, this sounds dramatic..almost like a daily soap. But what was I supposed to do..Be a daughter to him he will keep worrying about all his life?..be a depended to him?..A daughter..an ugly daughter he can't even marry off?..No I was better dead that a burden..and a constant source of pity..How I have always hated that..I had to pull this off..somehow..And I knew Delhi had to be my shelter..I  still had some cash reserve.
                                                                                        This was the beginning of my new life, the one I now live, the life of a celebrated anonymous writer...solitary, shaded, but unknowingly renowned. being educated in christian schools all my life..I had immense faith in Catholics.. ant that's what made my home for a long time to come..I practically hid..in some hostel for women who needed support or help, run by mothers and sisters. They were incredibly supportive..never asked questions or provided answers unless asked. I read, and read, and wrote..journals..about almost everything..I found my solace in papers and words..And one find day..my mother angel came for my rescue..she, accidently , got hold of some of my journals..and then she read them all..driven by pain..full of experiences of life and sufferrings..and then we talked, about everything..from start till now. She made me agree to get it all published. It did..and rocked..sold like anything..brought me fortune..both fame and name..name as in..I wrote under the name of anonymous..I din't want limelight..I wasn't yet ready to go out as yet..may be I never will be..I was still dead to the entire world..and I wanted to stay that ways..I wrote to my heart contents..and earned..mother angel handled all my affairs. And so the days went by..and so did my life.
                                                                       Every one moved on..it was almost a year..my guy..he was seeing off some other chick..my sisters were all settled..and my dad still looked old and tired..I decided to let him know of my existence...to him and him only..we met..we cried...we talked..but I kept my secret..I told him I am freelancing..and doing good..I will survive alone..and will be in touch..he understood the compulsion and importance. I was content..not happy..but content.
             All m life when I was leading a normal life I wanted to be an artist..a writer to be precise..and now when life gave me what I wanted..i miss my normal life. Sometime I ll take a cup of coffee, watch rain fall down my window pane in my new bungalow..and remissness about past..about all the love and laughter I had..but it was pain that gave me what I desired..May be its not that bad after all..lonely..but not bad.

                                                                    Anonymous. 

The Confab

that drug he feeds me 

with his lips entwined in mine

transports me to world another

where his love does shine

"kisses"
"where"
"on your lips"
"am drugged"
"come fly with me"
"take me"
"we are there"
"hold me tight, i might fall"
"I wont let you"
"am in heaven"
"with me?"
"in your arms"
"see the sky"
"I see only you"
"close your eyes and feel me"
"like my breath"
"and am breathing you"
"like one soul"
"yes, we are"
"I love you"
"I love you back"
She sighs
and they kiss
while the world fades away around them
and rain pours..drenching them..uniting them..into one soul..till forever lasts

Evenings of promises kept

Come, have we,
a long way since beginning
almost a lifetime
of few decades and more,
from the hairs black
to them turning grey and white
a journey
from being 18 and single
to being
married and sixty-four
together we loved and struggled
and made and entire new world.
Kids turning into parents
and then making it grand
I am still amazed
at how strong we stand.
And all these while,
my companion true
am still so much so
in love with you.
Today, I hold your hand in mine
and I know I am complete
no more of world I desire
no more of compassion I seek.
The only wish that remains
is to watch, with you, this sunset
dawns, turning into dusk
framing the evenings of promises kept

The orison

So distant
are the days of childhood
gone are the innocence
and the easy belief that all be okay
a thousand thoughts pass
before you go dancing in the rain
all that carefree attitude flew away
oh! why did I gave my wings to my childhood
why did I let my Angels turn into demons
why did I let my fairies go
lend me that sparkle of my eyes
that glitter of mischief
instead of the big void that now stands
lend me my unbroken heart and unshakable trust
even if for a while
turn me in to a child again

The primrose you

I never cease to wonder how
your one touch can put the rain on fire
your one that look
and am all desire
I drift away, far far away
at the slick touch of your finger tips
swaying in your arms
my lips captivated by your lips
tantalizingly
they touch at my nape
leaving me breathless, wanting
and agape
Oh! what are you an angel or a demon
wickedly pleasurable like a sin
melting my soul
burning my skin
Am so taken, mesmerized, hypnotized
like an insane
take me with you
take me kissing in the rain

An Enveloped Heart- To my stranger

hello stranger.

                    though this is a bit weird to call you a stranger, considering the fact that you are so..so close to my heart. But I like to think you as a stranger..and strangely so I hardly know you enough. I don't really remember how we came to find each other but am more than glad that we did. You added the spice to my life..or more aptly said...You ARE the spice of my life. The way you shower your attention to me, I, a commoner, feel like a princess. You make me feel special..very special indeed. And now am at loss of words. I have so much to say but I can't find desirable words. Right now there is one song playing in my head in a loop- "Ajnabee mujhko itna bata..dil mera kyon pareshaan hai...dekh ke tujhko aisa lage..jaise barso ki pehchaan hai". At one time I use to find this song funny and pointless..and today I relate to it quite to well..Strange again..Now you see why I like to call you stranger..'coz you do strange things to me. I don't know you but I feel we belong together. I don't know you but I want you all for me. I don't know you but I hate it when someone else has your attention. I don't know you but it is as if you are mine. You are a Midas...turning me to gold..My dreams golden..my days golden..my nights golden. Silence with you gets as beautiful as the conversation with you. You are a magician..you have got me spellbound..and am scared even to blink...scared that it might just break the spell. I can feel you smiling ears to ears..and you know what..there is nothing I love more. Well for once am speechless..tongue tied...at loss of words..read it all in my silence..everything that I don't say...be with me ALWAYS.

                                                                                                             from,
                                                                                                     the one under your spell :)

The Greener Grass

Logic does not always stand

you might not be happy with what you have at hand

but your life is about decisions you take

do it so later you won't regret

"Kruti, where are my shoes", shouted Mayank

"Mom, Tiffin", this was her little angel, her 8 years old daughter Mayuri

She was running between the kitchen and all over the house. She thanked God for her 10 year old son was away on a school camp already.

Mayank took Mayuri by hand..planted a haste kiss on her cheeks and half ran to his car. After the car was beyond her line of vision she walked back into the house hastily to get ready for her office.

"You have a message", said her phone..she smiled knowing who might it be from

"Missing you terribly..come soon"..it read..and she hurried.

Walking into the office she had a  huge smile on her lips..her face was all lit up with anticipation.

"Happy birthday to you..happy birthday to you..happy birthday dear Kruti..happy birthday to you", sang her entire office crew..and she knew this has to be Vinit"s idea for sure..She gave him her most dazzling smile..she was very happy. 

At night she saw Mayank picking up her gifts from office registering a faint surprise and a reminder...But when she got ino the room he din't say a word..he had just conveniently forgotton.

Vinit somehow always knew her heart and mind..he was a magician...he always could lift her spirits..make her smile no matter how bad it was...in his words, eyes and attitude she always found herself perfectly special. Something she always wanted from her husband.

One evening Mayank came home with a huge bouquet of red roses..took her in his arms and swayed her all around. She was still laughing with delight when he put her down.

"Guess what", he said laughing..mean while both their kids also came out running eager to know why their parents are squealing. 

"What"

"I got a promotion"

All she could do was bearhug him..and more laughter washed over. It is moments like this whn she realises that they both are still in love and very much so.

"I am resigning", Vinit informed Kruti so obviously angry and upset

Kruti's heart skipped a beat.."Why"

"this isn't working"...and he went on telling her the story of today and of all the times

Kruti hardly ate that night...feigned illness and went to bed early..upset...not really realizing the impositions.

Mayank got more and more busy offlate...Vinit has been her constant companion...movies, dinners, shopping, walks, texts, calls...they were together almost all the time.

"I have go a job offer", Vinit said grinning.

Kruti was shocked.."congratulation", she said without much feel.."so are you going to take it. Ofcourse you will..how silly of me..." she kept talking for a min before realizing she was blabbering.

Vinit looked at her with a bemused smile.."I haven't really decided yet"

"Ohh"...and the day took off...and ended with a three day holidays lying ahead.

Kruti had been distracted...sad..upset...thinking about possibility of spending her days without Vinit...ofcourse they will still be in touch.."but will that be enough?", thought Kruti..She din't want to hink about it. 

Mayank noticed, "wifey are you all right. Is something bothering you."

"hmmm..no", she answered distractedly.

"I am so sorry baby..I know I have been too busy these days..and have been unable to spend time with you..I am guilty..I will try to find a bit more time from tomorrow..Please now smile", and Mayank hugged her tight.

A pang of guilt hit her...she should be upset about this..about Mayank not paying enough attention...but she is more concerned about another man..She should be in love with Mayank..but she is in love with another man.

And this realization did hit her bad..she never realized..never thought about Vinit like that..she tried to deny...all night she tried...but in vain..she knew this was true.

For next two days she avoided his calls..ignored his texts..determined..no matter how hard and painful it was ..she can't let this happen..Mayank loves her..and she knew it..he has been a good husband and a dotting father. And she loves him too.

But this attraction...there still isn't a surefire cure for this schism of heart. Its like a drug you can't quit. It keeps pulling you back. And true to the fact Kruti's resolve melted as soon as she saw him at office after holidays.

"Why have you been ignoring me"

"I was busy. Mayank and kids were at home too"

"well I just wanted to tell you that am staying. But seems like you don't really care", he sulked.

She made every attempt to please him..and with work along she was drained..But at the end of day when he smiled at her..it was all worth it...And thus began a new life of hers alongside her old one..An untold yet understood love story...She was the happiest woman on earth..She now had the best of both worlds at her hand.

But it was getting tiring..this euphoric painful juggling act. And Vinit had been sulking more and more each day.. pressurizing her to get a divorce and marry him..She tried to reason with him but to no avail. She could not leave her kids at any cost...for anyone...and she knew in a way she loves Mayank as well..He has never harmed her..always loved and respected her..yes a spark was missing but in no ways she was ready to leave her family.

Vinit was being very stubborn...he gave her an ultimatum of a week...she should decide..either leave Mayank or him..."I can't even think of you being with another man. Let alone under roof and in a room over a same bed. I get unbearably jealous" 

Kruti knew he was right..had she been in his shoes she wold have felt the same..But had he been in her shoes he would have understood her dilemma.

In that week she had made her decision...She bid a good bye to Vinit...He was too angry to listen or understand..and she knew he was right..She left with a heavy heart.

That evening when Mayank came home she was all dressed up for him..sent her kids to her friend's place..She wanted a night to themselves..for just two of them..She was willing to put additional efforts to create that spark again..The spent an entire evening re-discovering each other.

"I thought you don't love me anymore..I was scared that someday I might come home and find you gone", confessed Mayank and snuggled close to her, "I need you, I love you."

"I love you too"..today she lost a love and found the lost one..she wasn't sure if she should be happy or sad.

*********************************************************************************

"Momma", squealed her son from the door of the house..."Me, you and Mayuri..we are flying to Las vegas", and he took her in his arms and danced like Mayank used to. "My office people expected me to go alone but i strictly told them i wont go without my mom and a devil that hangs around her all day", he teased Mayuri...and they ran all over the house like they would do when they were still kids.

She turned to the wall tear eyed...to the one that holds Mayank's life-size portrait with a garland hanging around. She felt so blessed to have such doting kids...And a husband who loved her truly as long as he lived.. though at times thoughts of Vinit stabs her..But she is happy she took that decision...She is happy that she stayed where she belonged.

Face of Fear- Her Insecurities

As fragile as they are strong

As right as they are wrong

Mistaken often

Are the insecurities of a Woman

"You know what's wrong in our relationship???.....YOU"
"ME", she shouted, "yeah...you go screwing around and I am the one who is wrong in our relationship"
"What the fuck"
"Don't you wtf me alright..you think I don't know...that drooling look on your face when you see that long-legged sexy bitch next door..or any other female of that kind"
"You are so fuckin' impossible"

Before she could think of something to say he stomped out of the house banging the door.
Takshila and Mayur have been married for two years now, and this was getting worse with each passing minute. Takshila, like every other fight, that today's has also been pointless, worthless and her fault. If Mayur can't be trusted then you can't eve trust your own self  and she knew it well. She knew he loves her truly , deeply and completely. But this doesn't keep her from being insecure and too very needy of him. She is painfully aware of charismatic and Godly looking Mayur and a very average and plain her.

Mayur has been drinking for over an hour, annoyed at the way things between him and Takshila is going.

"Hey buddy", someone's hand at his shoulders broke the painful trance he was in.
"Swar", he was pleasantly surprised, "such a long time".

Swar was the counseller at the company he used to work with, and they had hit it off right from their first meet, like partners in crime. Mayur always found him easy to talk to. Over the drinks conversation drifted to Mayur and Takshila and the problem between them.

"She is Insecure", said Swar after hearing out Mayur.
"Insecure", half surprised half amused he said,"what for? We have been married for two years now. She has everything she needs or wants. Why then?"
"Mayur, its not about what she has. She thinks she doesn't deserve all this and you. She has this fear that one day you will just walk out on her for someone better..." and Swar went on explaining him all about women Insecurity.

Takshila waited.....in absolute Zero..fearing he will not come...fearing he left forever..for his own good.

Mayur stood at the door..confident of what he wants to do. he loves Takshila a lot...enough to do anything to make things better....he rang the bell. five min of absolute silence..then a faint click. Takshila stood there stunned..her hairs untidy..her mascara and kajal messed up with her tears creating a line down her cheeks. And suddenly with a huge desperate cry she hugs him tight. throwing her arms wildly around his neck she clang to him for her dear life.

"Ohh Mayur..I thought you are never gonna come back..am sorry..I know I have been such a bitch...every fight had been my mistake...please forgive me.."

Mayur held her tight..letting her blabber...let her to let loose herself..he kept caressing her while she cried like a troubled desperate child.

"Shhh baby...I know..its okay..I now understand..I will never leave you", and with this he led her inside...handed her a glass of champagne and made her sit on his lap...cuddled. And they talked..about his pain and hers...about his fears and hers...he told her he loved her the way she is and that how intimidated and out of place he feels with other females.

"True there are females better and worst that you...but..my love..there is no other you...no other Takshila for him", he said.

He opened up for her...bared his hear and soul...his cellphone and his emails..and everything she desired to see. And sometime between their comfortable after talk silence she dozed off...curled up like a cat...with a content look on her face. He carried her to bed. he knew this was going to be long and tiring...and tough...but he was more than willing...for his own sake..for their love and for Takshila...HIS TAKSHILA