Face of Fear- Her Insecurities

As fragile as they are strong

As right as they are wrong

Mistaken often

Are the insecurities of a Woman

"You know what's wrong in our relationship???.....YOU"
"ME", she shouted, "yeah...you go screwing around and I am the one who is wrong in our relationship"
"What the fuck"
"Don't you wtf me alright..you think I don't know...that drooling look on your face when you see that long-legged sexy bitch next door..or any other female of that kind"
"You are so fuckin' impossible"

Before she could think of something to say he stomped out of the house banging the door.
Takshila and Mayur have been married for two years now, and this was getting worse with each passing minute. Takshila, like every other fight, that today's has also been pointless, worthless and her fault. If Mayur can't be trusted then you can't eve trust your own self  and she knew it well. She knew he loves her truly , deeply and completely. But this doesn't keep her from being insecure and too very needy of him. She is painfully aware of charismatic and Godly looking Mayur and a very average and plain her.

Mayur has been drinking for over an hour, annoyed at the way things between him and Takshila is going.

"Hey buddy", someone's hand at his shoulders broke the painful trance he was in.
"Swar", he was pleasantly surprised, "such a long time".

Swar was the counseller at the company he used to work with, and they had hit it off right from their first meet, like partners in crime. Mayur always found him easy to talk to. Over the drinks conversation drifted to Mayur and Takshila and the problem between them.

"She is Insecure", said Swar after hearing out Mayur.
"Insecure", half surprised half amused he said,"what for? We have been married for two years now. She has everything she needs or wants. Why then?"
"Mayur, its not about what she has. She thinks she doesn't deserve all this and you. She has this fear that one day you will just walk out on her for someone better..." and Swar went on explaining him all about women Insecurity.

Takshila waited.....in absolute Zero..fearing he will not come...fearing he left forever..for his own good.

Mayur stood at the door..confident of what he wants to do. he loves Takshila a lot...enough to do anything to make things better....he rang the bell. five min of absolute silence..then a faint click. Takshila stood there stunned..her hairs untidy..her mascara and kajal messed up with her tears creating a line down her cheeks. And suddenly with a huge desperate cry she hugs him tight. throwing her arms wildly around his neck she clang to him for her dear life.

"Ohh Mayur..I thought you are never gonna come back..am sorry..I know I have been such a bitch...every fight had been my mistake...please forgive me.."

Mayur held her tight..letting her blabber...let her to let loose herself..he kept caressing her while she cried like a troubled desperate child.

"Shhh baby...I know..its okay..I now understand..I will never leave you", and with this he led her inside...handed her a glass of champagne and made her sit on his lap...cuddled. And they talked..about his pain and hers...about his fears and hers...he told her he loved her the way she is and that how intimidated and out of place he feels with other females.

"True there are females better and worst that you...but..my love..there is no other you...no other Takshila for him", he said.

He opened up for her...bared his hear and soul...his cellphone and his emails..and everything she desired to see. And sometime between their comfortable after talk silence she dozed off...curled up like a cat...with a content look on her face. He carried her to bed. he knew this was going to be long and tiring...and tough...but he was more than willing...for his own sake..for their love and for Takshila...HIS TAKSHILA

the face of fear

The calm of the night was irked with a loud painful wail. She was crying uncontrollably, her skin look drained, she was visibly shaking. Her mother came running into her room. This was usual. Most often than not Ishi wakes up crying bitterly like this, from her nightmares. Her mother takes her into her arms and starts talking to her softly..asking what was it. But as usual Ishi only held on to her for her dear life..not speaking even a single word. And gently her mother rocked her back to sleep again. She was just 15.
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It was again that the silence of the night was disturbed with a shriek. She sat up with a jolt, crying, drained, scared..everything she has been then. But this time nobody came running to soothe her and rock her back to sleep. Its been a decade since, everything came and left, but her nightmares stayed. It was a waste of time trying to sleep again. She walks to her bathroom, turns on her shower and stands under it, fully clothed. This has always helped her nerves cool down. She changed, took a chilled breezer from her fridge, turned on her television and sat on her rocking chair, her legs folded up. Her mind eventually drifted back to the time when her nightmares started. That one cursed night.
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She was 12, so excited about her so special birthday two months hence,she will be turning 13.-a teen. She couldn't wait to experience the pleasure of being a teen. Unaware of what the teen have in store for her. Few days before her birthday, when she has been sleeping, dreaming blissfully, somebody slipped in to her bed, alongside her. A hand crept over her body, feeling her up. She felt weird but kept sleeping. The hand slid past the top of her nightgown. her eyes flew open. She felt confused and scared. It went on for few minutes, until the lights in the adjacent room flicked open. She felt the figure slid past her, out of her bed. She couldn't sleep that night again. As the dawn broke, the feeling stayed.
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This went on for the week, gaining one step at a time. She did not knew who he was, nor did she try to figure it out. Every night she lay awake, her eyes tightly shut. Hoping it to be a dream, wishing this would get over. But it went on.
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It was the eve before her birthday. She wasn't excited anymore. The night crept in again, and so did her fear.
She felt someone move up to her bed. Felt her hands being pulled up and being tied. NO, she cried in her mind. No sound came out of her throat, fear got her voice. Then a piece of cloth slid past her agape mouth gagging her. That known someone played with her. Hurting her, Scathing her, scarring her. Her took away her innocence that night, broke her soul and stole her peace and security,  all she was left with was fear, of touch of men. When it all was done .the clock chimed midnight, he bend down to whisper in her ears, "happy birthday baby. You turned a woman tonight". And at that instant she saw the face of the stranger in the night, the face of her fear.
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She never had guts to share this. May be someday she would have with her mother, but with her gone, it was impossible. With her mother's death, the reason of her nightmares stayed with her, as her deep dark secret.