the face of fear

The calm of the night was irked with a loud painful wail. She was crying uncontrollably, her skin look drained, she was visibly shaking. Her mother came running into her room. This was usual. Most often than not Ishi wakes up crying bitterly like this, from her nightmares. Her mother takes her into her arms and starts talking to her softly..asking what was it. But as usual Ishi only held on to her for her dear life..not speaking even a single word. And gently her mother rocked her back to sleep again. She was just 15.
*****************************************************************************

It was again that the silence of the night was disturbed with a shriek. She sat up with a jolt, crying, drained, scared..everything she has been then. But this time nobody came running to soothe her and rock her back to sleep. Its been a decade since, everything came and left, but her nightmares stayed. It was a waste of time trying to sleep again. She walks to her bathroom, turns on her shower and stands under it, fully clothed. This has always helped her nerves cool down. She changed, took a chilled breezer from her fridge, turned on her television and sat on her rocking chair, her legs folded up. Her mind eventually drifted back to the time when her nightmares started. That one cursed night.
******************************************************************************

She was 12, so excited about her so special birthday two months hence,she will be turning 13.-a teen. She couldn't wait to experience the pleasure of being a teen. Unaware of what the teen have in store for her. Few days before her birthday, when she has been sleeping, dreaming blissfully, somebody slipped in to her bed, alongside her. A hand crept over her body, feeling her up. She felt weird but kept sleeping. The hand slid past the top of her nightgown. her eyes flew open. She felt confused and scared. It went on for few minutes, until the lights in the adjacent room flicked open. She felt the figure slid past her, out of her bed. She couldn't sleep that night again. As the dawn broke, the feeling stayed.
******************************************************************************

This went on for the week, gaining one step at a time. She did not knew who he was, nor did she try to figure it out. Every night she lay awake, her eyes tightly shut. Hoping it to be a dream, wishing this would get over. But it went on.
******************************************************************************

It was the eve before her birthday. She wasn't excited anymore. The night crept in again, and so did her fear.
She felt someone move up to her bed. Felt her hands being pulled up and being tied. NO, she cried in her mind. No sound came out of her throat, fear got her voice. Then a piece of cloth slid past her agape mouth gagging her. That known someone played with her. Hurting her, Scathing her, scarring her. Her took away her innocence that night, broke her soul and stole her peace and security,  all she was left with was fear, of touch of men. When it all was done .the clock chimed midnight, he bend down to whisper in her ears, "happy birthday baby. You turned a woman tonight". And at that instant she saw the face of the stranger in the night, the face of her fear.
******************************************************************************

She never had guts to share this. May be someday she would have with her mother, but with her gone, it was impossible. With her mother's death, the reason of her nightmares stayed with her, as her deep dark secret.