The Greener Grass

Logic does not always stand

you might not be happy with what you have at hand

but your life is about decisions you take

do it so later you won't regret

"Kruti, where are my shoes", shouted Mayank

"Mom, Tiffin", this was her little angel, her 8 years old daughter Mayuri

She was running between the kitchen and all over the house. She thanked God for her 10 year old son was away on a school camp already.

Mayank took Mayuri by hand..planted a haste kiss on her cheeks and half ran to his car. After the car was beyond her line of vision she walked back into the house hastily to get ready for her office.

"You have a message", said her phone..she smiled knowing who might it be from

"Missing you terribly..come soon"..it read..and she hurried.

Walking into the office she had a  huge smile on her lips..her face was all lit up with anticipation.

"Happy birthday to you..happy birthday to you..happy birthday dear Kruti..happy birthday to you", sang her entire office crew..and she knew this has to be Vinit"s idea for sure..She gave him her most dazzling smile..she was very happy. 

At night she saw Mayank picking up her gifts from office registering a faint surprise and a reminder...But when she got ino the room he din't say a word..he had just conveniently forgotton.

Vinit somehow always knew her heart and mind..he was a magician...he always could lift her spirits..make her smile no matter how bad it was...in his words, eyes and attitude she always found herself perfectly special. Something she always wanted from her husband.

One evening Mayank came home with a huge bouquet of red roses..took her in his arms and swayed her all around. She was still laughing with delight when he put her down.

"Guess what", he said laughing..mean while both their kids also came out running eager to know why their parents are squealing. 

"What"

"I got a promotion"

All she could do was bearhug him..and more laughter washed over. It is moments like this whn she realises that they both are still in love and very much so.

"I am resigning", Vinit informed Kruti so obviously angry and upset

Kruti's heart skipped a beat.."Why"

"this isn't working"...and he went on telling her the story of today and of all the times

Kruti hardly ate that night...feigned illness and went to bed early..upset...not really realizing the impositions.

Mayank got more and more busy offlate...Vinit has been her constant companion...movies, dinners, shopping, walks, texts, calls...they were together almost all the time.

"I have go a job offer", Vinit said grinning.

Kruti was shocked.."congratulation", she said without much feel.."so are you going to take it. Ofcourse you will..how silly of me..." she kept talking for a min before realizing she was blabbering.

Vinit looked at her with a bemused smile.."I haven't really decided yet"

"Ohh"...and the day took off...and ended with a three day holidays lying ahead.

Kruti had been distracted...sad..upset...thinking about possibility of spending her days without Vinit...ofcourse they will still be in touch.."but will that be enough?", thought Kruti..She din't want to hink about it. 

Mayank noticed, "wifey are you all right. Is something bothering you."

"hmmm..no", she answered distractedly.

"I am so sorry baby..I know I have been too busy these days..and have been unable to spend time with you..I am guilty..I will try to find a bit more time from tomorrow..Please now smile", and Mayank hugged her tight.

A pang of guilt hit her...she should be upset about this..about Mayank not paying enough attention...but she is more concerned about another man..She should be in love with Mayank..but she is in love with another man.

And this realization did hit her bad..she never realized..never thought about Vinit like that..she tried to deny...all night she tried...but in vain..she knew this was true.

For next two days she avoided his calls..ignored his texts..determined..no matter how hard and painful it was ..she can't let this happen..Mayank loves her..and she knew it..he has been a good husband and a dotting father. And she loves him too.

But this attraction...there still isn't a surefire cure for this schism of heart. Its like a drug you can't quit. It keeps pulling you back. And true to the fact Kruti's resolve melted as soon as she saw him at office after holidays.

"Why have you been ignoring me"

"I was busy. Mayank and kids were at home too"

"well I just wanted to tell you that am staying. But seems like you don't really care", he sulked.

She made every attempt to please him..and with work along she was drained..But at the end of day when he smiled at her..it was all worth it...And thus began a new life of hers alongside her old one..An untold yet understood love story...She was the happiest woman on earth..She now had the best of both worlds at her hand.

But it was getting tiring..this euphoric painful juggling act. And Vinit had been sulking more and more each day.. pressurizing her to get a divorce and marry him..She tried to reason with him but to no avail. She could not leave her kids at any cost...for anyone...and she knew in a way she loves Mayank as well..He has never harmed her..always loved and respected her..yes a spark was missing but in no ways she was ready to leave her family.

Vinit was being very stubborn...he gave her an ultimatum of a week...she should decide..either leave Mayank or him..."I can't even think of you being with another man. Let alone under roof and in a room over a same bed. I get unbearably jealous" 

Kruti knew he was right..had she been in his shoes she wold have felt the same..But had he been in her shoes he would have understood her dilemma.

In that week she had made her decision...She bid a good bye to Vinit...He was too angry to listen or understand..and she knew he was right..She left with a heavy heart.

That evening when Mayank came home she was all dressed up for him..sent her kids to her friend's place..She wanted a night to themselves..for just two of them..She was willing to put additional efforts to create that spark again..The spent an entire evening re-discovering each other.

"I thought you don't love me anymore..I was scared that someday I might come home and find you gone", confessed Mayank and snuggled close to her, "I need you, I love you."

"I love you too"..today she lost a love and found the lost one..she wasn't sure if she should be happy or sad.

*********************************************************************************

"Momma", squealed her son from the door of the house..."Me, you and Mayuri..we are flying to Las vegas", and he took her in his arms and danced like Mayank used to. "My office people expected me to go alone but i strictly told them i wont go without my mom and a devil that hangs around her all day", he teased Mayuri...and they ran all over the house like they would do when they were still kids.

She turned to the wall tear eyed...to the one that holds Mayank's life-size portrait with a garland hanging around. She felt so blessed to have such doting kids...And a husband who loved her truly as long as he lived.. though at times thoughts of Vinit stabs her..But she is happy she took that decision...She is happy that she stayed where she belonged.

Face of Fear- Her Insecurities

As fragile as they are strong

As right as they are wrong

Mistaken often

Are the insecurities of a Woman

"You know what's wrong in our relationship???.....YOU"
"ME", she shouted, "yeah...you go screwing around and I am the one who is wrong in our relationship"
"What the fuck"
"Don't you wtf me alright..you think I don't know...that drooling look on your face when you see that long-legged sexy bitch next door..or any other female of that kind"
"You are so fuckin' impossible"

Before she could think of something to say he stomped out of the house banging the door.
Takshila and Mayur have been married for two years now, and this was getting worse with each passing minute. Takshila, like every other fight, that today's has also been pointless, worthless and her fault. If Mayur can't be trusted then you can't eve trust your own self  and she knew it well. She knew he loves her truly , deeply and completely. But this doesn't keep her from being insecure and too very needy of him. She is painfully aware of charismatic and Godly looking Mayur and a very average and plain her.

Mayur has been drinking for over an hour, annoyed at the way things between him and Takshila is going.

"Hey buddy", someone's hand at his shoulders broke the painful trance he was in.
"Swar", he was pleasantly surprised, "such a long time".

Swar was the counseller at the company he used to work with, and they had hit it off right from their first meet, like partners in crime. Mayur always found him easy to talk to. Over the drinks conversation drifted to Mayur and Takshila and the problem between them.

"She is Insecure", said Swar after hearing out Mayur.
"Insecure", half surprised half amused he said,"what for? We have been married for two years now. She has everything she needs or wants. Why then?"
"Mayur, its not about what she has. She thinks she doesn't deserve all this and you. She has this fear that one day you will just walk out on her for someone better..." and Swar went on explaining him all about women Insecurity.

Takshila waited.....in absolute Zero..fearing he will not come...fearing he left forever..for his own good.

Mayur stood at the door..confident of what he wants to do. he loves Takshila a lot...enough to do anything to make things better....he rang the bell. five min of absolute silence..then a faint click. Takshila stood there stunned..her hairs untidy..her mascara and kajal messed up with her tears creating a line down her cheeks. And suddenly with a huge desperate cry she hugs him tight. throwing her arms wildly around his neck she clang to him for her dear life.

"Ohh Mayur..I thought you are never gonna come back..am sorry..I know I have been such a bitch...every fight had been my mistake...please forgive me.."

Mayur held her tight..letting her blabber...let her to let loose herself..he kept caressing her while she cried like a troubled desperate child.

"Shhh baby...I know..its okay..I now understand..I will never leave you", and with this he led her inside...handed her a glass of champagne and made her sit on his lap...cuddled. And they talked..about his pain and hers...about his fears and hers...he told her he loved her the way she is and that how intimidated and out of place he feels with other females.

"True there are females better and worst that you...but..my love..there is no other you...no other Takshila for him", he said.

He opened up for her...bared his hear and soul...his cellphone and his emails..and everything she desired to see. And sometime between their comfortable after talk silence she dozed off...curled up like a cat...with a content look on her face. He carried her to bed. he knew this was going to be long and tiring...and tough...but he was more than willing...for his own sake..for their love and for Takshila...HIS TAKSHILA

An Enveloped heart- To my best friend forever

Hey ya chum!!!!

                          

                      before you even start reading I must tell you that this is an attempt in vain. No amount of word could ever touch your value in my life, nothing can describe what you mean to me. Blame me for doing this injustice but I just could not hold myself back. We have known each other for practically whole life..okay..I know zyada ho gaya...more than half of our lives (you needn't make that face you know..it still makes you look funky :P). So, like I was saying we have been together for almost over half of our lives. We stepped into the world together, fighting to keep our innocence intact and yet trying to survive. You held my hand through and through. When I came defeated you became my strength.  You were always fighting for me, fighting beside me, and of course how can I forget, fighting with me (you annoying guy). You talked about girls from out school, then your college, and office and of where-not (pretending to be a cassanova), but never left a chance to tell me just how valued I was and still am. You have been the shoulders I cried on without inhibitions (only to be teased later :x). I bitched, I lost, I broke, but you always held me together. You have been my hope to life and world. You made me see what I am.And my confidence- it is you. My friend, my philosopher and my guide. And today I am just letting you know that I might pretend not noticing but I remember every little thing you did for me. And those that you still do. You are my second hero (of course after my father). I love you,

                                                   Always together

                                                           ME

PS: Close that hanging open mouth of yours and put your eyes back in your socket (winked)